HMU Academy: Desire Differences - Navigating Mismatched Libidos

This Hit Me Up event is open to the public, 21+. About the Workshop One of the most common challenges in relationships is wanting different amounts, types, or styles of sex. Whether you're the partner who wants more, wants less, or simply wants something different, desire discrepancies can bring up frustration, insecurity, pressure, guilt, and misunderstandings. The good news? Desire differences don't have to mean incompatibility. In this workshop, we'll explore the science of libido and desire, including responsive vs. spontaneous desire, common reasons desire changes over time, and why "matching sex drives" is often a myth. We'll discuss practical communication tools for talking about sex without blame, responding to and redirecting sexual requests with care, and navigating feelings of rejection when partners aren't on the same page. We'll also look beyond sex itself and explore ways to cultivate intimacy, pleasure, and connection even when desire differs. Participants will learn exercises inspired by sensate focus for both individuals and partners, along with strategies for creating more curiosity, playfulness, and closeness in their relationships. Whether you're partnered, dating, or simply interested in understanding desire better, you'll leave with practical tools and a deeper understanding of how to navigate differences without sacrificing connection. Bio Nikita Fernandes (she/her) is a certified sex therapist and psychotherapist located in New York City. She has ample experience in navigating sex positive spaces solo. She lives at the intersections of various identities such as being an immigrant, south asian, queer, neurodivergent and poly. Nikita navigates the sex positive scene as a sexual health educator as well as a fellow human being. Her work lies in empowering people with marginalised identities to cultivate mindful relationships with their sexuality. Nikita has worked with multiple kinky individuals and poly couples in New York City and has been featured in Cosmopolitan, GQ, and Huff post FAQs FAQ: what should I bring? If you’d like to take notes, you can bring supplies for that FAQ: any skill pre-requisites? (i.e., is this for beginners, advanced, everyone?) everyone FAQ: what should I wear? anything you feel comfortable in FAQ: can I attend solo, or do I need to come with a partner? Partners, polycules, playmates, and individuals are all welcome Price Transparency The full fee for this workshop reflects the true costs of running the event, including supplies and compensating facilitators for their labor. If you are able to afford a full price ticket without experiencing financial hardship, please choose this option. Those who cannot afford a full fee ticket are welcome to use our discount EQUITY26 at checkout. STAY IN TOUCH! ✨ Instagram @hitmeupnycity [http://www.instagram.com/hitmeupnycity] ✨Join our public newsletter [https://www.hitmeupnyc.com/newsletter] ✨ Support HMU -- We're On Patreon. Many of you have asked how you can help out! Other than spreading the word, attending parties and volunteering, becoming a patron is an opportunity to help us succeed — while receiving special perks in the meantime. Interested in becoming a patron? Click here [https://www.patreon.com/HitMeUp/membership]. ✨Volunteers: Limited volunteer spots available. Please email admin@hitmeupnyc.com to express interest. ✨Location: 120 Walker St in Lower Manhattan. The space has an elevator. Please email hello@hitmeupnyc.com if you need any accessibility accommodations. ✨Full vaccination is required. While we recommend getting the booster shots, we are not verifying them at this time. ✨Membership: We reserve the right to refuse entry if needed. Hit Me Up also hosts private events which are invite only, and anyone new to Hit Me Up must apply and be approved to attend—no guests or plus ones. Please visit https://www.hitmeupnyc.com/join [https://www.hitmeupnyc.com/join] to join. You are welcome to inquire as to your status or that of your friends, but please do not act as if you have an entitlement to access our space or members. Building special spaces is hard, and while we are inclusive and welcoming, we reserve the right to curate our membership as needed to maintain our flourishing community. If you'd like to sponsor a new member please have them apply as soon as possible. If they wait until a few days before the event we cannot guarantee they will be able to be approved in time. ✨Please stay home if you are feeling ill or if you have had recent close contact with someone who tested Covid positive (within the past 5 days). You could be incubating and still test negative. Any requests for refunds for any reason will be honored up to the day of the event. Remember: safe, sane, and sanitary Just email hello@hitmeupnyc.com and we will give you a full refund, no questions asked. ✨Consent Policy: All of our events are ASK FIRST events. The rules of respectful and consensual behavior WILL be enforced. You will be responsible for reading our consent policy and behaving appropriately. Read our consent policy in full: https://www.hitmeupnyc.com/consent [https://www.hitmeupnyc.com/consent]. If you have questions, want to make a report, or need support, please contact our third party consent reporting service, available at consent@hitmeupnyc.com.